Free to Choose by Sandy Thibault

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Free to choose are words that conjure up all kinds of thoughts in my head. I somehow think I have associated “free to choose” with “no holds barred”, which grants even more freedom to access the possibilities of what those words could mean. The first thought that I have is almost fantasy in nature as I my mind races to the physical things that I would choose; Fanciful houses, cars, vacations and the freedoms that would be granted. This idea almost implies that all this comes without any responsibilities an The Celebration Continuesd possibly that is why it feels like such a fantasy.

As soon as the mind moves out of the fantasy mode and into reality, the words somehow take on a quite different meaning. Most of us know that it is not the physical things in our life that we want freedom to choose about, but the everyday things that govern our thoughts, idea’s and beliefs.

As much as we might understand that we are always free to choose what we believe or want to express, sometimes the gremlins of our past show up to stage an objection. A common one seems to be that making the choice that is right for us, comes with a price tag that is emotionally too high. We may feel that somehow we just don’t measure up to the expectation that that choice would hold us accountable for. The objections often come in many forms and hold us paralyzed in a place of what feels like no choice.

Even in this place of “no choice”, we have made a decision with our unconscious mind to accept whatever the circumstances are of not choosing. We relinquish our power to decide what is best for us and do not take the responsibility that goes along with trusting and acting on what we need.

I would encourage you to take a look at the places in your life where you had to make choices. How did you make the choice? Did you make it because some outside person or influence told you it was the right thing for you to do, or did you make it from your heart? These are two very different perspectives with very different rewards.

When you make a choice based on an outside influence you have put other people’s needs in front of your own. Granted, there are times in our life when this is appropriate but not as a general rule. You might want to ask yourself what makes you give up what is right for you? Does fear of the outcome play a role for you? Will this move you toward or away from what you want?

I would encourage you to be kind and gentle with yourself as you navigate through these questions. As you look at your answers, refrain from making judgements about what you did or did not do in the past. Start to recognize that your judgement is a way to move you away from what you want, rather than toward it. Instead, take the perspective that each discovery is meant as a way for you to see inside yourself and gain greater understanding.

What does it mean to choose from your heart? It means that you have looked inside and asked yourself what the best choice is for you and not anyone else. It means choosing to love and trust yourself enough to take action to get what you need. In that action, comes the willingness to take responsibility for the decision you have made in your own best interest. As you take responsibility for yourself you will learn to let go of other people’s expectations for you. Doing this allows you to operate from a sense of empowerment that allows you to grow and embrace the possibilities that are waiting for you.

There are rewards from both of these perspectives. If it did not serve you in some way you would not do it. It might be worth it to find out what the reward is for you when you give up your power. In the same token look at the reward when you make a choice from a place of personal empowerment. In both of these instances we can ask the same question, does this keep us feeling small and powerless or does it bring us closer to the person we want to be? A person who stands up for what she/he believes are creating who they want to be and the life they want to live.

I would encourage you to look at yourself with the same loving kindness as you would look at your best friend. Give yourself permission to let go of the outcome as you practice making decisions that are right for you. Embrace the idea that loving yourself enough to take action on your own behalf, is key to finding the freedom we all desire.